Family politics and your wedding!
While a planning wedding is the happiest of occasions, for some it can also be really tricky due to family politics. This week in the news there has been a huge amount of interest about Meghan Markle’s Dad and whether or not he is going to be coming to her wedding on Saturday to walk her down the aisle. That is stressful for any bride or groom, but can only imagine how tough it is for Meghan given the additional media scrutiny.
When Mr Ash and I were preparing to marry many moons ago, family politics reared their head on my side of the family. At the time it was deeply embarrassing but I was fortunate that those around us supported and loved us. My parents divorced when I was a teenager. My mother raised us but I still tried to maintain a relationship with my father. At the time when Matt and I got married my relationship with my father and his family wasn’t great. It felt right to have my Mum walk me down the aisle but I didn’t want to upset my father further.
Also in some ways I am fiercely independent and challenge convention. I couldn’t get my head around the fact that traditionally the father gives his daughter away. While that feels right for some - it just didn’t feel right for me. I’m my own person and no one can ‘give me away!' So instead, Mr Ash and I walked down the aisle together! In the end I don’t know why I stressed over walking down the aisle because us walking down together turned out to be so sweet and just right for us.
Over the years I’ve come across similar challenges for some of the couples I have had the honour of working with. Keep in mind that while you still love your parent etc, this is your day. Don’t be afraid to be non-traditional if you can’t or don’t want to do the conventional thing with regards to certain traditions such as who will walk you down the aisle. Don’t stress over it either. This is just one small part of your day, your way! By the way - there is no rule book…you could even walk yourself down the aisle!